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[personal profile] cumulative 2024-07-30 06:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[...if he's genuinely asking, then-- well. after hesitating a moment:]

I still don't want to go.

[he shakes his head, at that.]

I- I voted for Lavi and Suguru and you, because I wanted all of you to be there with me, and then I... wasn't enough after all.

[sometimes instead of voting for yourself you pick the people you trust and want to stay with but you're the one who doesn't make the cut.]
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[personal profile] cumulative 2024-07-30 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)
...I couldn't have picked just one of you. Or both of you, and left out Lavi, when he... said that he wanted me to be there with him.

[cannot explain the extent to which the specific ic circumstances made this so bad for mathis girl help.]
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[personal profile] cumulative 2024-07-30 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
That's why I couldn't have.

[as if he'd put geto through that when it'll already be hard enough...

he blinks, though.]


Y-yes? Well, um, he said 'us', not just him. But then he also said...

[going quiet, so he can think of what the words were.]

'If I die next week, then I'd want you to stay alive to find out who killed me. If I'm the killer, then I'd want you to stay alive long enough to help catch me. But if I'm neither, then I want you to stick around and help me.'
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[personal profile] cumulative 2024-07-31 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
...I will. I know that it's likely going to be... difficult, for all of you, s-so...

I still want to do what I can for him.

[and that has nothing to do with his feelings for him. he'd do the same even if he only ever thought of lavi as a friend.]